Nope, I was right. It's a slow news day. This essential news flash from North Carolina:



"9-year-old Kevin Logan had skipped breakfast and when he got on the bus, he began eating a Little Debbie Zebra Cake, because he was hungry. . . when the boy sitting next to him asked for a bite, Kevin said no and was smacked in the face with a stuffed Tweety Bird. Kevin hit back, but was slammed against a window and hit in the back. Then he fell in the aisle and was stomped."