Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Only Winning Move is Not to Play

Jennifer had this post up:
One thing I have always refused to do, is to compete with other women for the attentions of men. I always figured if he was worth fighting for, I wouldn't have to fight for him. . . . I've never understood the competitiveness and cattiness that seems to overcome some women when a guy walks within 20 feet of you. Maybe my refusal to compete is why I'm still single at age 30, but if you want him and he wants you, you can have him and I won't lose any sleep over it. I have faith that some day there'll be the guy who only wants me. Perhaps that little theory will seem misguided when I'm 40 and still single, but in the meantime I'm sleeping just fine.

Amen, sister. My tactic on this is always to walk to the other side of the room. If the guy wants you, he'll wander over. If not, screw it. What are you going to do, force someone to like you? On a correlating point, I've never gotten the whole jealousy thing. It's unfathomable to me. If I figure out a guy doesn't want me, he's history. End of story. If he does want me, I've got nothing to worry about. That theory holds whether you've been cheated on or not. I'll trust you until I can't and then I walk. Why does it have to be any more complex than that?

Finally, in thinking on the different applications of this, it occurs to me that in the times that the shoe's on been on the other foot - one or more guys are simultaneously demanding my attention and getting competetive about it - I generally also get uncomfortable and will also walk away from both of them. It doesn't actually serve as a test, because which would you choose? The guy who follows you may want you more, but the guy who doesn't might have more class. Or not. It depends. It's more a stalling measure to give myself some space when feeling too crowded.

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