I didn't know they gave Darwin Awards for Hamsters. Note the "Past Stories" links on the right sidebar.
Just for the hell of it, some Bill Maher excerpts. Follow the numeric links to read a bunch more:
1. If you're over 20 and you have a doll in your house, you'd better be a guy and the doll better be inflatable.
2. New Rule: If your razor has five blades, it's not a razor, it's a weed-whacker. With the new Gillette Fusion razor, the first blade lifts the stubble; the second severs the hair follicle; the third slices your skin; the fourth scrapes bone marrow; and the fifth was used by O.J. Simpson to kill his wife, and he wants it back.
3. New Rule: The fortunes in fortune cookies have to be fortunes. "You surround yourself with good friends" is not a prediction. It's a compliment. Quit kissing my ass, cookie! If I'm going to sit through a plate of MSG-laden, twice-cooked kitty-cat, I want a real fortune like, "That meal you just ate is going to give you cancer."
4. New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese.
5. New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
I'm not saying I'm arachnophobic, but I'm in total sympathy with this guy.
Matthew Yglesias looks at Caitlin Flanagan's long article on blowjobs and asks: "Why Can't I Get These Assignments?"
Bored at work? Test yourself on the etymology of common words. It can be harder than you think.
Question: so is this guy a geek or a dork?
How about this guy?
I mean, they're skirting that geek/dork line, but I'm going with dork on #1 and geek on #2.
Speaking of guys, the question remains. . . .
Did you catch Gradual Dazzle's link to the best blonde joke ever? If you're blonde, email me and I'll explain it to you.
Iowa Blog Wars Part II.
I'll put my two cents' worth in later - this post is for fun stuff.
Let's not bicker and argue over who flamed who.
In the "awwww" inspiring mushy relationship department: Michelle is trying to revive the love letter as a genre, and is looking for suggestions.
And to for a good reminder about what's really important, read Waiter Rant. BTW - I don't ever miss his posts. They should syndicate his blog.
The Ground Meat Cookbook. I kid you not.
You could base an Eastern philosophy on this sign, couldn't you?
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