10 Things

Milbarge notes the MSN relationship experts have listed the 10 Things Every Single Girl Should Own and 10 Things Every Single Guy Should Own.

I don't feel qualified to remark on the female (translation: guys dig it) stuff, because I've no idea whether men really want me to have an Eminem CD in my collection and a stash of earplugs in case I take some guy home and find out he snores (WTF?). But I do have a few things to say about the guy's list.

First off, the buy nice underwear rule - didn't you learn that in, like, kindergarten? Preschool? If the idea that you don't wear underwear with holes or skidmarks on a hot date hasn't sunk in by now, you've got bigger problems than you realize.

The lamp with a lampshade thing - who notices that??? If what they're getting at is "stop decorating your place in that special 'early frathouse' motif," I'm with that. But a lampshade isn't going to make a damn bit of difference if all his end tables are milkcrates.

For the record, I wouldn't know a $200 pair of jeans from a $75 pair if my life absolutely depended on it. I guess I don't read my Cosmo closely enough.

As for the rest of it: by all means, get a comfortable couch, soft sheets (Not satin or we'll mock you. I mean this.), decent shoes. Learn to cook passably and make a good cup of coffee. Oh, and if the dust bunnies are starting to whine "Feed me, Seymour," please evict them. If nothing else, you'll avoid the helpless male stereotype.