Friday, January 28, 2005

That Explains Things

Peter Beinart has an editorial in the Press-Citizen regarding the caucus system in Iowa. He quotes Howard Dean:

"If you look at the caucuses system," he said, "they are dominated by the special interests in both parties. The special interests don't represent the centrist tendencies of the American people. They represent the extremes."


Without even stopping to ponder who exactly Howard Dean would consider extreme, I'll just state that I agree with the premise, for reasons I'll outline later.



Beinart claims that the caucuses influenced the Democratic party to be more anti-war than it naturally would have been. He blames this on Howard Dean's having taken Iowa by storm, and other candidate's feeling obliged to follow Dean's anti-war lead. He claims that Dean showed well because of extremists, fostered by Iowa's peace-loving culture and problems inherent in the caucus which amplify the party's dovish, activist base.

"Although spawned by re-forms aimed at making the nominating system more democratic, the Iowa caucuses aren't that democratic at all. In a primary, people can vote all day. But in Iowa, you must arrive at your precinct caucus site at exactly 6:30 p.m. and stay for several hours, which virtually bars people who work at night. There are no absentee ballots, and voting is not secret -- people often raise their hands to show whom they support."


I agree the caucus system does tend to skew results toward the extremes of each party. But it has nothing to do with Iowa's culture, or a secret vs. open ballot. You know why very few people other than extremists go to caucuses?



I do. I've been to a couple, and I'd personally rather have my fingernails ripped out with hot tweezers than go to another.



You don't just show up, vote for your candidate, and go home. Nope. You get to propose platform planks to send to up the ranks of the party. These planks are voted on at the county, precinct, and state level, etc., until they become the official platform of your party in Iowa. The political process in action.



Sounds cool, until you take into account the type of people who want to come out and debate platform planks with six strangers in somebody else's apartment. Extremists. People straight out of Monty Python:

Gumby (standing in water) I would put a tax on all people who stand in water ... (looks round him)... Oh!

Man In Bowler Hat To boost the British economy I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.

Man In Suit I would tax the nude in my bed. No - not tax. What is the word? Oh - 'welcome'.

It's Man I would tax Racquel Welch. I've a feeling she'd tax me.

First Business Man Bring back hanging and go into rope.

Second Business Man I would cut off the more disreputable parts of the body and use the space for playing fields.

Man In Cap I would tax holiday snaps.


You get to sit around and debate ideas for obscure laws with these lunatics for as long as they like before they let you vote for your candidate.



It's bizarre ritual combination of cruel and unusual punishment, false imprisonment, and high school detention. Outside of extremists, who appear to thrive on it, few people can endure this type of treatment.



That's why the caucus system will generally engender the type of candidates the loonies love. You don't need to move the primaries, have absentee ballots, or even secret voting. You just need to change the system so that people can cast a ballot for a candidate, and then be able to leave before the loonies get them. Then you can let the loonies stay and debate to their heart's content. Of course, they'll still come up with all sorts lovely, elaborate platform planks that the rest of us will eventually see unveiled at the state level and wonder "what the h*ll were they thinking?" But at least you'll get a vaguely representative primary vote.

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