Bad Writing

Skimming posts in the Legal Underground, I came across this bit about legal fiction. It's an interesting post, but this caught my attention:

Lesson 4: Lawyers shouldn't write about sex. Most authors suggest that sex has taken place at some point but don't go into details. When I was 12 years old, that would have been disapppointing, but now, after reading a book by Robert K. Tanenbaum, I don't mind. Tanenbaum, a former NYC ADA and mayor of Beverly Hills, is guilty of the most horrific sexual metaphor I've ever read in a serious novel - "he sank into her like a pipe wrench sinking into a warm crock of chili."

Okay, that's disgusting. I understand that you don't want to use old, standby, worn cliches, but geez. In my personal opinions, cliches are like the "she said" of fiction, most of us are so familiar with them we read right over them. They aren't the hallmark of brilliant writing, but neither will they tank your narrative like the "original" metaphor used here - unless you overuse them, in which case you deserve to be laughed at.



So if you must use a metaphor, try to make up something brilliant and non-disgusting. If not, use the standby.



Please.