The Consumerist has a link to these .mp3 snippets of old customer support calls. Omigod some of these are good. Be sure to hit "sawed off back of computer" and "what is a paperclip".
The crying one on the midterm is just sad, though.
Office Guns constructed with clippies. Just perfect for that next meeting.
Yes, I call them clippies. I also have this. Wanna make something of it?
Apparently this is not a sex toy. (shrug) Go figure.
"World's Greatest Radar Detectors." An excerpt:
There is one feature included in all modern fighter aircraft, a feature lacking in virtually every in-car radar detector available because one manufacturer owns the patent, a feature without which a fighter’s radar warning system would be considered ineffective: incoming threat directional signal indicators.
In fighter combat, this feature is the difference between life and death. In a car, this feature is the difference between slamming on the brakes or flooring the gas. Real or false, a weak signal from the rear can (usually) be ignored, but a radar signal from the front is a critical threat. Of secondary but major importance is the police car hiding on the side of the road. Only directional signal indicators can tell you when you’ve passed a well-camouflaged police car, allowing you to floor it once passing beyond line of sight.
You choose the caption: "Stupid criminal of the week" or "A good use for spam"?
Child porn collector gets Sober.Y "FBI spam", turns himself in.
I've figured out why they've outlawed most handguns in Britain. It's so people can do stuff like this without getting shot:
"A campaign is under way to lower speed limits to 20mph in urban areas, but what's going to make drivers slow down? A bossy road sign, a hump in the road or a three-piece suite parked in the road?"
No, set up your livingroom furniture in the middle of the flipping street, and just watch driver's reactions . . .
The LA Times warns: Beware of horny goat weed.
Alllrighty then.
(via Dave Barry, who says "You don't have to tell this blog twice.")
Speaking of warnings . . . . they've found the Squirrel of Caerbannog.
Russian Squirrel Pack Kills Dog
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report. Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.
They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.
It must be silly science week.
First, there's this news flash from Japan:
This roach has been surgically implanted with a micro-robotic backpack that allows researchers to control its movements. . . Unfortunately spammers are emailing the roaches when they broadcast to cell phones. "We had an incident last week where we sent a roach into an duct to test for an air leak, when we asked the roach to turn right, it responded by asking for our email addresses and offered to send us viagra in return." said Assistant Professor Isao Shimoyama, head of the bio-robot research team at Tokyo University.
Then there's this from Australia:
In a study at their own facility, a group of scientists from the Macfarlane Burnet Institute for Medical Research and Public Health in Melbourne secretly numbered 70 teaspoons. . . They then tracked the movement of the spoons over five months. . . . Supporting their expectations, 80 per cent of the spoons vanished during the period. . . . Taking a tip from Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books, they suggest that the teaspoons are quietly migrating to a planet uniquely populated by "spoonoid" life forms living in a spoonish state of Nirvana.
On the sex front, there's this:
Heather Kelley, a videogame designer with Ubisoft, wanted to create a game to "teach techniques of female sexual gratification to a target audience of females." The result is "Lapis, A magical pet adventure." You can download and play Lapis for free from Kelley's site.
On the other hand, this thing isn't getting within a 10-mile radius of my chest:
The theory? "This is actually the Halo breast papanicolaou (pap) testing system developed by NeoMatrix, LLC. It uses suction devices to extract nipple aspirate fluid from the breast to be analyzed for the presence of various types of cells, including malignant ones." Link possibly NSFW. And no, thank you.
Oh, and on that note - I have a whole new idea for that New Year's Eve dress:
Whaddaya think?
Finally, I got reviewed by IowaBlogs.net: Got some time on your hands? Need a break from work? Side Notes offers some great Detours. This stuff can get addictive. . . But it's not all fun & games. There's also a bevy of political punditries that add to this blog's unique and distinctive voice. Two words: Addictive; Creative. Thanks!! Check out IowaBlog.net's new bloglist on Blogspot and the ever-growing sidebar. Looks like I've got some template updating to do.
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