The Grandview Gladiators

The Des Moines Register has this: Hansen: Whom to please? Sledders or golfers? It outlines the problem:

. . . Grandview [Golf Course] needs a face-lift. It's easily the worst of Des Moines' three municipal courses. It leaks the most money. . . .

But here comes a nonprofit called the First Tee that wants to sink some money into the place. The nonprofit wants to introduce young golfers, many from low-income families, to the game. . . .

Grandview is a good choice. It's a forgiving course, well-suited to beginners. But here's the hitch:

The First Tee requires a driving range, so Grandview has to build one.

The plan is to put it on the 10th hole. To do so, they have to carve into the sacred sledding hill. The sledding people hear about it and start circulating petitions calling for city leaders to leave their beloved hill alone. . . .

I have an idea. Each side chooses a representative. Each representative is armed with a saucer sled and a golf club. First to yield loses the hill.

Or something.

Nevermind.