Monday, March 13, 2006

Thing I Learned on the 'Net Lately


What happens when Trekkie geeks grow up: "We're developing a tricorder," Downs said, referring to the instruments the crew of the Starship Enterprise on "Star Trek" used to analyze the chemical composition of the planets they visited.

If you have a spare grand lying around, you too can become Mr. Freeze. ("Touch my griddle.")



How did I miss this one? A mink penis muffler. Love the label: SKIWEAR selected by US Olympic Committee. And the instructions: Do not use for intercourse. Do not wash. Dry clean only. I notice someone bought it for $420 on February 13th. Must've made some lucky guy a Valentine's Day gift.

I understand the concept of light and circadian rhythms, but this bedding set just looks a bad disco revival.

Of course, this one's just too silly for words. (Would you like to sleep on my balls?)

Oh, and if you're bored, you can go Touch Some Balls. (My high score was something like 58.)



Credit card companies might find it easier to head off fraud if they screened out applications that had been torn into a gagillion pieces, taped back together, and filled out with suspicious info. Just a suggestion.

CompUSA could also stand to review its "free shipping if you spend $150" policy. One customer added on a $1 box of paperclips to round up his $149.99 disk drive purchase:
The disk drive, according to CompUSA is being sent from the manufacturer; the paper clips were sent directly from CompUSA’s warehouse. So, in order to enforce its own “no free shipping unless the order is over $150” policy, CompUSA incurred the added expense of an additional FedEx delivery to my home.



What's the context for this picture? Did you guess a headshot for a perky cruise director? A still from a pitch for some stupid sitcom?

Try a mugshot for a murder suspect. Whatever she was on at the time this was shot must've been pretty good.



On the Illinois front (registration required, use the Bugmenot login and password of 123456):

If you're planning a surprise party, don't tell the feds. They blab everything. Sort of makes FISA look a little pointless, doesn't it?

Oh, and an Illinois gubanatorial candidate has to apologize for calling the other politicians "morons." I think they also made her sit in time-out for two minutes. Hey guys? News flash: Chicago politicians are morons. No, seriously.



Speaking of poor decisions, Iowa has apparently got a candidate for the Darwin Awards.

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