As Soon as I Pick My Jaw off the Floor

I'm going to figure out a way to deal with this.

Those of you who know me understand how the sale of my house will resuscitate my finances after I'd allowed the ex to skip the majority of his post-divorce bills when he was out of work, and assisted my parent/s since their respective diagnoses of terminal cancer. I'd incurred a large amount of debt, and this sale will allow me to pay it off and get back on an even keel, even considering the tax consequences of not putting it right back into a new home. I've been very excited about it, being back to "normal" (such as it is). I figured everything's going to go smoothly as of the reciept of that check in my cute new mailbox.

Right?

Maybe not so much:

PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- Walter Soehnge is a retired Texas schoolteacher who traveled north with his wife, Deana, saw summer change to fall in Rhode Island and decided this was a place to stay for a while.

So the Soehnges live in Scituate now and Walter sometimes has breakfast at the Gentleman Farmer in Scituate Village, where he has passed the test and become a regular despite an accent that is definitely not local.

. . . .

They paid down some debt. The balance on their JCPenney Platinum MasterCard had gotten to an unhealthy level. So they sent in a large payment, a check for $6,522.

After sending in the check, they checked online to see if their account had been duly credited. They learned that the check had arrived, but the amount available for credit on their account hadn't changed.

So Deana Soehnge called the credit-card company. Then Walter called.

. . . .

They were told, as they moved up the managerial ladder at the call center, that the amount they had sent in was much larger than their normal monthly payment. And if the increase hits a certain percentage higher than that normal payment, Homeland Security has to be notified. And the money doesn't move until the threat alert is lifted.

Greeeeaaat.