Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Things I Learned on the Internet this Morning

Despite the depression recession and that whole women's liberation thing, they still have debutante balls. Seriously?! And why is it this photo resonates less of "Eighteenth-century glamour" than "Anne Boleyn putting her head on the chopping block"? Color me cynical.

Apparently, you shouldn't regift, but if you're gonna, there's rules. Here's a question: why not? I mean, if I'm not enamored with a particular item of clothing, already have the latest kitchen gadget, or I really don't mesh with a bit of household shelf-shrapnel, why am I supposed to let it gather dust in the basement rather than giving it to someone who would actually appreciate the thing? That's stupid. Here's my proclaimation, in writing and in public: if I've ever given you anything you don't like, please feel free to exchange it, return it, or give it away. It's not a damn shrine, it's a gift. I thought you'd like it or find it funny, but I was wrong. No biggie. If you accidentally regift it to me, I will probably laugh at you. But that's part of the fun. Lighten up, people. Caveat: if someone made or gave you something thinking it's totally cool, it's probably not a good idea to bring it to any gag-gift or white-elephant exchange they're going to attend. It looks like you're making fun of their taste. This, and a nasty cold that kept me home this year, was the only thing precluding me from unloading a couple of sappily sentimental statuettes from the wedding at white elephant exchanges this year. Oh, but I'm keeping the tabletop cross that has the Virgin Mary on it with the word "Purity" engraved in the base . . . and lights up inside and changes colors like some lava lamp or insane LED tree. That's just too good to give away.

Book buying is apparently becoming a social conscience thing - who do I want to support with my dollars? Oh, I so don't think so. Unless I know the author personally, I'm buying as cheap as I can get it. Ask anyone, I'm a total book junkie. I go through a book every a day or two unless my life is insanely busy. A new book is a huge treat, I'm generally forced by economics and not having a ton of time to make treks to the library to reread my own. I once had aspirations of having a highbrow library - leatherbound or hardback, no paperbacks, and a whole ton of classics. Yeah, sure. I can no more put down a book with an intriguing blurb than a chocoholic can walk away from chocolate cake. It doesn't matter if it's a timeless classic I've not had time to read, or some bestselling drivel with a thrilling plot, I'm absolutely compelled to read it. So if you think I'm going to be spending $25 for a hardback when I can get the same fix for a penny plus postage, you're insane. Unless . . . Well, I already have it right here in my hand, and I would have to wait for delivery if I ordered it online, and I don't have a show going on right now, so I could probably finish it tonight. . . . yeah, I don't think the publishing industry has much to worry about on this end.

Everyone says to be careful out driving tonight. What you should actually be worried about is walking.

Apparently, having an upside-down mortgage is the glue that keeps bad marriages together these days. I understand marriage advocate's ideas that it's for keeps and everyone just needs to try a little harder, but wouldn't this be a particular brand of hell?

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