Thursday, July 05, 2007


I just received this and am mulling it over:


1. Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up now. Proceed at your own risk. Alternate meaning: You’re on very dangerous ground and are completely clueless, so you need to stop before you get hurt. If she has to explain it to you, she will loose her tightly controlled temper all hell will break loose. Just shut up.

2. Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing.
This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

4. Go Ahead.
Many times, this is a dare, not permission. Often said when you’re contemplating emptying out the savings account to buy a motorcycle, obtaining a lap dance at a stip club, or having dinner with your ex. Just say no.

5. Loud Sigh.
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay.
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That's okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Alternate meaning: You’re clueless, and can’t possibly apologize enough, so give it up. For now.

7. Thanks.
A woman is actually thanking you - do not question it!

8. Whatever.
A woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it.
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself instead. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

There's a few nuances I'd quibble with but it's an interesting translation.

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