Some Miscellanea

Big hair is sexy.

Hope springs eternal.

The bigger the idiot, the more elaborate the lie. (I suppose I already knew that one.)

The urge to impose order crops up in the oddest places. I suppose next they'll have a homeowner's association?

Don't mess with a guy trying to hookup. (Yes, I'm extrapolating. But why else do you think he was upset?)

Printer jams are going to be messy.

Subtlety in phallic symbolism is no longer necessary - or appreciated.

But an elaborate plan can turn even boring graffitti into a great prank.

And if you wait long enough, anything can become a valuable scientific artifact.

For a little time and a small monetary investment, you can pay the rent for an entire year.
Of course, that's going to attract every spammer in the western hemisphere, but it's actually true.

Creepiness is expensive.

Sometimes, you can't decide if something's supposed to be creepy or phallic. That's when it's time to quit.