Name that Quote?

After running across this first one and snorting coffee out my nose, I've decided to collect unintentional double-entendres in literature. Here's the first two:

No wonder that in old times sperm was such a favorite cosmetic. Such a clearer! such a sweetener! such a softener; such a delicious mollifier! After having my hands in it for only a few minutes, my fingers felt like eels, and began, as it were, to serpentine and spiralize.

Answer

"Be firm, be firm, my pecker"

Answer

Any additions? (Note for the Shakespeare fans - I said unintentional. Though you can put in a Shakespeare quote or two just for fun, if they're one of the really good ones. The line that consistantly made me do the junior-high giggling thing in MacBeth: "[W]e were carousing till the second cock".