You just caught your man in bed with some worthless Kittyblogger. Without a second’s hesitation, you launch a clock radio at the bastard’s forehead. Why such fury?
I pondered this question over coffee with my friend J.P. a few weeks ago. An epidemic of infidelity had afflicted our circle of friends. Some cried rivers, some pelted their lovers with rotten vegetables, some recited their mea culpas, and a few culprits regretted the very day the obstetrician wrapped his gloved hands around their little skulls. For our part, J.P. and I sat down to discuss the anatomy of these emotional reactions. . . .
Think of men as goods available on the meatmarket. The finest of these beefcakes are much costlier to obtain than others, requiring you to spend more money diversifying your designer portfolio and more time working on your butt and hips. The entire value of the man derives from his relative unavailability and high cost vis à vis other men. An exclusive relationship with this man makes him entirely unavailable to others and drastically lowers supply of fine men on the meatmarket. Should the man violate his commitment to you by taking another Belle out to a romantic dinner, the supply of men will increase and his value to you will decrease.
After J.P. and I solved the mysteries of love and jealousy, further research revealed that devalued relationships are closely correlated with flying clock radios. The anatomy of our emotional reactions is couched in economics. . . .
Now if we could just get the statistical probability of winning with any given relationship combination?
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