Politics? Maybe not.

I've wanted to do another political piece, but all the candidates seem to be annoying me at the moment. For a detailed explanation of why that might be, go to Factcheck.org. In vainly searching for something I can endorse, may I put myself on record as totally agreeing with the CNN critics:

CNN readers respond angrily to 'race or gender' story

CNN received dozens of e-mails shortly after posting the story, which focuses largely on conversations about Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama that a CNN reporter observed at a hair salon in South Carolina whose customers are predominantly African-American.

The story states: "For these women, a unique, and most unexpected dilemma, presents itself: Should they vote their race, or should they vote their gender?" . . .

An e-mailer named Tiffany responded sarcastically: "Duh, I'm a black woman and here I am at the voting booth. Duh, since I'm illiterate I'll pull down the lever for someone. Hm... Well, he black so I may vote for him... oh wait she a woman I may vote for her... What Ise gon' do? Oh lordy!"

Tiffany urged CNN to "pull this racist crap off" the Web site and to stop calling Hillary the "top female candidate."

"Stop calling Barack the "Black" candidate," she wrote.

Many readers were upset that the story did not delve beyond a cursory mention of the issues. . . .

Go, Tiffany.

Poor Molly

She's not feeling well today. . .

Wednesday Quiz

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

PETA: Weirder than You Think

PETA Wants Accused Cannibal Placed On Vegetarian Diet

Oh, and if you want to give your pet up for adoption, PETA is apparently the last organization on earth you'd want to send it to.

Link via Leo's stuff.

Fresh Law

The Iowa Supreme Court has published two new cases. One of them, State v. Finders, has to do with the 2000-foot sex offender law. The basic jist of the case: When the law - found in Iowa Code section 692A.2A(2)- states: “A person shall not reside within two thousand feet of the real property comprising a public or nonpublic elementary or secondary school or a child care facility. . . .” but also says a person residing within two thousand feet of a school or child care facility does not violate if “[t]he person has established a residence prior to July 1, 2002;” the words "a residence" mean that the residence at issue has to have been established before July 1, 2002, not just any old residence around the neighborhood. Lesson for anyone grandfathered in on the registry: Don't move. Ever.

You Do Realize It's All Your Fault

Between a Laugh and a Tear posted a work-related rant. Excerpt:

I explained the offer to my client and answered his questions. My client took the offer, but now, he is complaining that it is too onerous, I sold him out, and that I did not do anything for him.

Sorry to those true believers out there, but what the fuck? Where does this sorry bastard get off to complain? I saved his sorry ass from prison, and got a majority of what he wanted from the State. I sold him out? I did nothing for him? Yeah, right.

That's about right. Did he also mention that by virtue of being a lawyer, you're vicariously to blame for the government's being "out to get him" in the first place? We're the one's who are in the government making these laws just to keep other lawyers in work prosecuting and defending against them, you know. We make a bunch of bull-sh*t laws that are so tricky that normal people can't understand them, and then put on a bunch of penalties that are so harsh that nobody could possibly live up to them, all to keep ourselves rolling in the tremendous amounts of cash we're making from those court-appointed fees.

Oh, and did he mention the giant toteboard? The jig's up, see. They all know we have a huge scoreboard secreted somewhere in the courthouse that keeps detailed, up-to-the-minute statistics on every win and loss of every lawyer in town on every issue, argument, motion, or trial. They know our entire careers depend on being at the top of that scoreboard. I believe the bottom rung of lawyers is regularly culled out, sent in a giant pneumatic tube straight to hell. Or made to become accountants.

I bet you also violated the inherent right of your client to be completely unavailable by telephone, email, or snail mail whenever you attempt to bother him about trivial things such as hearing dates. Conversely, you must not realize that you are on call, 24/7/365, in case he heard of a new defense from his brother, that worked great for his girlfriend's aunt in another state with completely different statutes. And how completely incompetent you are for not having thought of that defense in the first place. He'll have to punish you by not hiring you when he sues the state because he got a hangnail while in jail and they gave him a band-aid, but didn't send him to the hospital for treatment, which his co-defendant swears they are required to do by law. He also has the right to continue to call you every five minutes until you do pick up, filling your voicemail with nasty messages and making it impossible for any other clients to reach you. . . .

I reserve the right to supplement this later, I've got to get to work.

Another Audition Alert

Dreamwell Theatre Auditions for More Fun than Bowling

Auditions for More Fun than Bowling by Stephen Dietz will be at the Iowa City Public Library, Friday, January 18, 7:00 pm and Saturday, January 19, 2:00pm. Directed by Rachael Lindhart for Dreamwell Theatre. Performance dates are 8:00 pm February 29, March 1, 7, and 8 (pending rights).

Contact Rachael at 319-337-2206 with questions. For more about Dreamwell Theatre, visit www.dreamwell.com

Scripts are available on reserve at the ICPL.

CHARACTERS: Jake Tomlinson, father and bowling alley owner, is about 40.
He has been married three times and was lucky each time.

Molly Tomlinson, his daughter, is 16 at the time of the play. She is resourceful and an optimist; he would be lost without her.

Lois is about 30 and Jake's second wife. She is an avid NON-bowler, she says--but her education about bowling is an important part of the story.

Loretta is about 28 and Jake's third wife. She is a bowler but kept her job as a hairdresser when she married Jake.

Mr. Dyson is the mysterious man dressed in black; he is a chauffeur. The script says that he is 28, but he actually can be just about any age.

The Play: the story of Jake Tomlinson and his search for happiness through bowling. The play was written in in 1985 by Steven Dietz. It will be set in approximately that year, but has scenes of memory which are a few years earlier. It takes place in a cemetery overlooking the midwest small town of Turtle Rapids. Jake is trying out his own grave at the beginning of the play and is then interrupted by his daughter, Molly, who is riding her bicycle. He falls asleep and in his and Molly's memories, we meet his second and third wives (who are, at the time of the play, dead and buried on either side of the grave which he is trying out). The play is humorous, also with some touching scenes, and tells how he married his second and third wives (Loretta and Lois) and how they happen to be dead now. The ending is a humorous and wry one with references to his first wife (who is only talked about in the play and who is Molly's mother).

There is also a mysterious man in black who is looking for Jake and who acts as narrator and our host. His presence and purpose are eventually revealed to Jake and Molly and lead us to the ending.

Well, that's one way to end the FISA debate . . .

Phone companies cut FBI wiretaps due to unpaid bills

Political Venting

One of the things I've liked about the democratic campaigns this year is a slight increase in the candidate's general abillity to focus on the issues, rather than stereotypes. Despite the press' repeatedly stating the obvious - Hillary Clinton is female, Barak Obama is black - the candidates themselves are usually able to focus on the issues. I think this is resonating with democratic voters, which is precisely why those two are the front-runners for their party. The voters I've spoken with bear this out. They generally seem to be saying that while it would be a very cool thing to have the first (insert pertinent adjective) President, they are primarily concerned with electing the best person to do the job, and the rest is a bonus.

So I was rather annoyed by this article in the New York Times by Gloria Steinem, basically arguing that women should all vote for Hillary because women are more disadvantaged than African-Americans:

"So why is the sex barrier not taken as seriously as the racial one? The reasons are as pervasive as the air we breathe: because sexism is still confused with nature as racism once was; because anything that affects males is seen as more serious than anything that affects “only” the female half of the human race; because children are still raised mostly by women (to put it mildly) so men especially tend to feel they are regressing to childhood when dealing with a powerful woman; because racism stereotyped black men as more “masculine” for so long that some white men find their presence to be masculinity-affirming (as long as there aren’t too many of them); and because there is still no “right” way to be a woman in public power without being considered a you-know-what."

Of course, she then qualifies her argument:

"I’m not advocating a competition for who has it toughest. The caste systems of sex and race are interdependent and can only be uprooted together. That’s why Senators Clinton and Obama have to be careful not to let a healthy debate turn into the kind of hostility that the news media love. Both will need a coalition of outsiders to win a general election. The abolition and suffrage movements progressed when united and were damaged by division; we should remember that."

Is it just me, or does this sound like the old line, "I'm not prejudiced, but (insert prejudiced statement here)?" The entire article makes the point that Hillary should be supported simply because she's female, and indeed implies that young female democratic voters only supported Obama over Clinton because they just don't get it:

"What worries me is that some women, perhaps especially younger ones, hope to deny or escape the sexual caste system; thus Iowa women over 50 and 60, who disproportionately supported Senator Clinton, proved once again that women are the one group that grows more radical with age."

Reaction in the feminist blogosphere has been swift to condemn Steinem:

Alas, a Blog posted a cartoon basically summing up Steinem's article in two panels, saying: "I'm not advocating a competition on who has it toughest, blacks or women . . . but let's not forget how much harder sexism is on Clinton than racism is on Obama."

Angry Black Bitch has some great quotes:

"What country does Gloria live in where race barriers are taken seriously? I’d love to know…shit, maybe I’ll move there. . . . [T]his article is soaked in the fluid of competition. It reeks of frustration that I fear is born from a place of entitlement even though it is dressed in the language of the oppressed."

I also love her conclusion:

I agree with Ms. Steinem that we have to be able to say that we are supporting her, a woman candidate, 'because she would be a great president and because she is a woman.'

But we also have to be able to say I’m not supporting her because I’ve evaluated her and examined her resume without being labeled a victim or self hating or not radical enough or not feminist enough or easily dazzled by great oratory skills or more black than woman or just too darn stupid to do what Ms. Steinem thinks we should do.

But my favorite has got to be the response on Tiny Cat Pants entitled "Gloria Steinem, With All Due Respect, Kiss My Butt." Excerpts:

I, as a voter, will be voting for the politician I think best able to be president. That might be Clinton; it might not be. . . . You see, just because someone has a vagina, it doesn’t make them good people. . . .

Did it not once cross your mind the deaths of James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and Michael Schwerner happened in 1964–over four decades after we–you and me, white women–got the right to vote?

Did it never occur to you that black women didn’t, by and large, enjoy the same right to vote our foremothers did? And that you, by framing it as some kind of competition for who has it the worst–black men or “women”–basically just said to every black woman in America, “My experience as a woman is the experience of women in America, not yours.”

I mean, it’s gross that you would, after saying out of your own mouth, that you’re not advocating a competition for who has it the toughest, turn right around and use your column to advocate a competition for who has it the toughest, with Hillary Clinton as the winner, but to just basically erase a whole swatch of history you lived through in order to do it?

Shame on you.

My take: there are some voters who will align themselves with a candidate simply because they share a common characteristic. This impulse is particularly strong when that characteristic can be seen as a stigma. There are myriad reasons for this: the commonality of mutual experience, a feeling of shared values, and a perception that the candidate will 'stand up for their own' all play a significant role. So I don't think we'll ever completely extinguish that impulse. That said, I'd love to see prejudice itself eradicated. It would be wonderful to have an election in which there is no question as to whether a well-qualified candidate is "electable" simply because of their race, gender, or religion.

That's why, regardless of politics, it is nice to see that the candidates themselves are focusing more on the issues, and - at least in comparison with past elections - downplaying the (insert minority status) card. It's nice to see the voters talking more about the candidate's positions than their physical appearance. And although it was more than a little insulting to Iowans (including me) that the nation was totally astonished our democratic voters would in fact place Obama first and Hillary second when there was a fairly viable white male available in Edwards, I really enjoyed that we disproved their bigoted assumptions we're all corn-fed, backwater, redneck white hicks who wouldn't know an issue if it bit us in the ass.

As for this election: Steinem thinks that by voting for anyone else, I'm obviously denying my own gender, hoping to be exempted from sexism because I'm simply too naive to recognize the pervasiveness of male privilege? That in order to be a "real woman" I must vote for Clinton simply because she possesses a vagina? And that if I, or the rest of the "younger" women, don't agree with her on this (or indeed on any substantive issue) it's because we're just not smart enough to get the facts through our pretty little heads? Now that's some prejudice.

UPDATE:

I definitely spoke too soon.

No matter what the election, it seems sooner or later every candidate is bound to really annoy me on every level. PS to black Iowans: apparently you don't exist.

Ludicrous.

UPDATE UPDATE:
Okay, that's a theme: stop the "silliness".


UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE:
LOL

This Just Emailed

Auditions for Catalyst Acting Company and Habeas Corpus/ACE’s
production of “The Who’s Tommy” will be held January 10 and 11 at the
Iowa City Rec Center.

Catalyst Acting Company and Habeas Corpus/ACE announce auditions
for their musical collaboration: “The Who‘s Tommy” directed by Jeff
Shields, assistant directed by Rich Riggleman, music direction by Lyle Juracek
and choreography by Mark McCusker and Nora Garda. It will be performed
on March 14-16 at the historic Englert Theatre in Downtown Iowa City.

"Tommy" is Peter Townshend’s tale of a young boy’s journey from pain
to triumph is the most electrifying evening of rock and roll ever to play in
a theatre. After witnessing the accidental murder of his mother's lover by
his father, Tommy is traumatized into catatonia, and as the boy grows,
he suffers abuse at the hands of his sadistic relatives and neighbors. As
an adolescent, he’s discovered to have an uncanny knack for playing
pinball, and when his mother finally breaks through his catatonia, he
becomes an international pinball superstar. This show is rated “PG-13”
by the Catalyst Board of Directors.

Auditions will be held at the Iowa City Robert A Lee Recreation Center
on Thursday January 10th and Friday, January 11th starting at 7PM. All
ages are welcome to audition. In addition to adults, this show will require
10-15 talented high school students. People interested in auditioning
that aren’t able to attend the scheduled auditions can contact the
director at 319-688-5087 or jeff@catalystacting.org to schedule an
alternative date. We're also looking for one 4 year old boy and one 10
year old boy to play the younger Tommys.

Those auditioning need to bring a completed audition form
(available at www.catalystacting.org), a prepared 1 minute piece of a musical theatre song,
sheet music for both the person auditioning and for the accompanist,
comfortable clothing for some dance movement, and a list of rehearsal
conflicts.

For more information email the director, Jeff Shields, at
jeff@catalystacting.org.

Additional information is available by contacting the Catalyst Acting
Company office at 319-594-6411 or by visiting the Catalyst Acting
Company website at www.catalystacting.org

Congratulations

I see Aprille has a new guy in her life.

Update

If you're wondering whether I'm still alive, my itinerary's looked like this:

August - Moved back to Iowa

September - Spent catching up with all the work I missed due to the move, and being in That Day in September, directed by Matt from Thoughts from the Oasis. Dad has a crisis when his apartment complex tears up the parking lot to fix some potholes, making him house-bound for all intents and purposes because he can't walk long distances due to the cancer. The owners say he gets no special treatment like parking on the grass close to his door. I point out that handicap access is sort of required by law, and he's not only handicapped but in hospice. I start a proceeding to get an injunction, then they speed it up and finish the work fast enough that it becomes moot. And also put in a handicapped space in the parking lot, which they hadn't done previously.

October - Had to take a week off to work on the set of Long Christmas Ride Home when D's back problems finally got the best of him (surgery pending). Brought home Molly to cheer him up. I get a bunch of new cases when an attorney decides to leave town and redistribute her caseload. Dad wants me to help him get into another apartment because of the mess in September, and is clinically depressed. Hospice has us looking into options.

November - Started to get caught up again, but then my father and grandmother both passed away just before Thanksgiving. I have to take a few weeks off to plan one funeral and go to the other, both in the Chicago area. I also get the fun job of winding down my dad's estate.

December - Most of my clients appear to be suffering from an incurable impulse to screw up their lives in the worst way possible. Cases explode, my siblings want the estate done NOW, and I'd be happy just to get his stuff moved out of the apartment. Meanwhile, my hard drive dies and I have to buy a new one and reload every scrap of software, some of which I don't have the discs for anymore.

January - It is getting better. Really. Though it's still two steps forward, one back. Yesterday I tried shutting off the utilities to my Dad's place. One of them won't talk to me because I'm not "authorized on the account" (so you think I'm going to get him to call you??). Another tried to insist I have to transfer the account into my own name before I can request a shut-off - thus making me personally responsible for his past-due bills, which were already past due before he died. Do I look stupid?

I keep telling myself I'm going to get back to blogging. Like I'm going to get back to exercising, get my house finally organized, get caught up at work, etc. It's just not happening as fast as I'd like. Sorry, folks. In the interim, amuse yourselves with a quiz:

What Your Name Really Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Is Creation of the Earth Sufficient Ties for Personal Jurisdiction?

'God' Apparently Responds to Lawsuit. Key quotes:

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody.

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said. . . . .

Meet Molly

An adorable labramutt. What can I say? She licked me, so I had to take her home. Yep, I'm leaving that wide open.

Wait . . .

I'm not dead yet. It just took me all day to get a single email. I've no time to go elsewhere to connect - too many hearings - and I haven't got the 'net hooked up yet. Meanwhile, check out the new Iowa City Theatre Blog, and the rest of the sidebar.

Tuesday Quiz

via our fearless director, Matt.

Yep, director. If you want to see Nelle and I in another show, come see That Day In September this weekend or next:




PS - I'm not being lazy, nor am I on hiatus. I've just not got an internet connection closer than 20 minutes from my home/office, so it's not exactly handy right now.

Quote of the Day - Iowa City Edition

From DC2Iowa, discussing the proposed naming of the college of medicine at the University of Iowa after Wellmark in exchange for a donation:

Once a university gets in bed with corporate America is oral sex "adultery" -- hell, is it even "sex"? Are we still virgins if we don't "go all the way"?

We're already in bed, folks. Now we're just drawing lines and haggling over price.

Vivian: I would have stayed for two thousand.
Edward: I would have paid four.

ROFL

This is the most hilarious thing I've read today. A brilliant parody of the anti-Harry Potter hysteria, she even got it posted on a fundamentalist site. An excerpt:

Lucius Malfoy (meaning of bad/wrong faith, again this is misleading!), a respectably dressed family man with the pale hair and ethereal looks of an Angel, representing the Angel Gabriel of the Annunciation (Luke 1:31, but with the name of the fallen one in order to confuse Christian readers) gives the girl of a humble home, Ginny Weasley, the diary of Tom Riddle.

It is not hard to realize this diary, containing the life history of our Lord Tom the Son, represents both the message that she is to become the Divine vessel, and the Christian Bible, the very base of our faith. The Angel Malfoy, with modesty that befits his kind, does not touch the revered and frightened girl but puts the diary in the girl's cauldron, representive of her womb.

The innocent Ginny confides in the diary, asking it questions, and the diary advises her, guides her, like the Holy Scripture. About the diary she says, I'm so glad I've got this diary to confide in ... It's like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket (p. 335). Isn't this the way we wish our children would think about the Holy Scripture? Ginny continues to ask Tom for guidance, until she, under the malevolent and seductive influence of the anti-Christ figure, Harry Potter, bearing the mark of the beast on his front, rejects it and it falls into his hands.

The author, and the discussion about the hoax.

Deja Vu All Over Again

Nelle (whose birthday it was last Saturday, by the way) is coming down to help us move back to Iowa. I hope this finally appeases the moving gods and I don't have to relocate again for quite a while. I'm not sure if I need prayers or an exorcism.

My worst nightmare: we'll get halfway through and realize (cue Brody/Jaws impression) "We're going to need a bigger truck."

Things I've Found on the Internet Lately

How Not To Be Pranked:

When Electronic Frontier Foundation privacy lawyer Kevin Bankston announced that he was locking his office door to "prevent pranks" by this summer's crop of interns, the interns took it as a personal challenge. They figured out how to get into his office (they had the universal key!), took some pix, and then made a snappy little LOLCats animation commemorating the event.

One of the photos:

Vaporub solves a Hampshire gang problem.

In the heart of Africa, native art, untouched by the commercialism . . . d'oh!

The ultimate cliffs notes - famous poems rewritten as limmericks.

The natural successor to the Segway - motorized pink bunny slippers.