I'm Sure You've Already Seen This, But

It's soo freaking cool

Mind Your Own F*cking Business

So here's the scenario: Not a day passes from the decision in Varnum v. O'Brien before I'm getting emails from relatives in other states urging me to write my legislators in support of an amendment to block gay marriage. Annoying, but not unexpected. Thing is, this email contained a link to a site designed to send an email for you. How handy. (Insert sarcasm here). Here's the text pulled from the site:

Iowa Marriage Amendment

Following the decision of the Iowa Supreme Court ruling Iowa marriage laws unconstitutional, the only recourse is for the legislature to put a constitutional amendment on the ballot to be voted on by all Iowans.

We've identified key Iowa House members who need to be reminded that marriage belongs to all Iowans -- not just 7 judges in black robes.

Please use the form below to send these legislators an email urging them to vote yes on the motion to bring HJR 6 to a floor vote before the session ends on May 1st.

Then urge friends and family in Iowa to send a message, too!

Shomshor, Paul (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 100 , IA
Steckman, Sharon (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 013 , IA
Kuhn, Mark (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 014 , IA
Quirk, Brian (Democrat) - Assistant Minority Leader , Iowa House District 015 , IA
Beard, John (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 016 , IA
Kelley, Doris (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 020 , IA
Burt, Kerry (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 021 , IA
Berry, Deborah (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 022 , IA
Ficken, Gene (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 023 , IA
Thomas, Roger (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 024 , IA
Bukta, Polly (Democrat) - Speaker Pro Tempore of the House , Iowa House District 026 , IA
Murphy, Patrick (Democrat) - Speaker of the House , Iowa House District 028 , IA
Zirkelbach, Ray (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 031 , IA
Bell, Paul (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 041 , IA
Huser, Geri (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 042 , IA
Smith, Mark (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 043 , IA
Heddens, Lisa (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 046 , IA
Miller, Helen (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 049 , IA
Petersen, Janet (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 064 , IA
Ford, Wayne (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 065 , IA
Abdul-Samad, Ako (Democrat) - House Assistant Majority Leader , Iowa House District 066 , IA
McCarthy, Kevin (Democrat) - House Majority Leader , Iowa House District 067 , IA
Frevert, Marcella (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 007 , IA
Mascher, Mary (Democrat) - Minority Whip , Iowa House District 077 , IA
Mertz, Dolores (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 008 , IA
Reichert, Nathan (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 080 , IA
Thede, Phyllis (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 081 , IA
Gayman, Elesha (Democrat) - House Assistant Majority Leader , Iowa House District 084 , IA
Marek, Larry (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 089 , IA
Bailey, McKinley (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 009 , IA
Whitaker, John (Democrat) - House Assistant Majority Leader , Iowa House District 090 , IA
Swaim, Kurt (Democrat) - Representative , Iowa House District 094 , IA
Reasoner, Michael (Democrat) - House Assistant Majority Leader , Iowa House District 095 , IA

Dear (name):

I am writing to urge your support for HJR 6, the constitutional amendment on marriage. Specifically, I am urging you to vote yes on the amendment to bring HJR 6 to a floor vote before the end of this year's legislative session.

The recent decision from the Iowa Supreme Court makes one thing crystal clear: We can't leave marriage in the hands of 7 judges. It's time that the people of Iowa had a chance to have a say in the matter of defining our most basic social structure.

There is no doubt about the views of Iowans on the matter. In a recent Hawkeye Poll, fewer than 30% of Iowa voters supported same-sex marriage.

In 30 out of 30 states where voters have had a chance to vote on marriage, they have spoken loudly and clearly: Marriage is the union of a husband and wife.

Marriage is too important to leave in the hands of a few judges. Please support a constitutional amendment to protect marriage -- and bring it to the floor for a vote yet this year so we can get the process started

You will receive an email confirming that your message was sent. Check the box if you would also like to receive a copy of this letter.

Thing is, all my out-of-state relatives have already gone to the site, clicked on the "send message" button and sent this email to their (?) Iowa legislators. The Connecticut branch, the California branch, the North Carolina contingent, the Illinoisians, they've all contacted Iowa legislators (but only the Democrats - interesting) to tell them what Iowans think. Really?

May I politely say that it none of the rest of the nation's d*mn business what the Iowa constitution states on this issue? Yeah, I know, you have laws recognizing other state's marriages. So, theoretically, Iowa's recognition of gay marriage could backdoor it (pun not necessarily intended) into your state. So write your own fracking legislators and get those laws changed. Keep out of our business.

Many papers are predicting a mass invasion of these carpetbagging meddlers who know so much better than we do what our law should be. Frankly, I'm not incredibly worried. Iowans have always had a large dose of "get the f*ck out of my face" when being told what we should do. I'm not certain where the majority of Iowans will fall on this issue - polls seem to indicate that most favor some sort of civil union, but I'm not sure if "civil marriage" is too divisive a term (the opinion explicitly protects the right of religious institutions not to perform a marriage ceremony for same-sex couples on the grounds of religious freedom). Regardless, it will be Iowans who decide the issue, not some Mormon enclave from Utah. And while I'm sure most Iowans will be far more polite than I in saying to the rest of the country "Mind your own f*cking business," that's what nearly of them will be thinking.

UPDATE:
From the Iowa Courts website -

News Release

April 7, 2009

Contact:

Steve Davis, Court Communications Officer, (515) 725-8058

Varnum v. Brien: Effective Date of Decision

Des Moines, April 7, 2009— Under the Iowa Court Rules, a decision of the supreme court takes effect on the date the court issues procedendo, which normally occurs twenty-one days after an opinion is filed, unless a petition for rehearing has been filed. In the case of Varnum v. Brien, the twenty-one day period ends on April 24—a day that all court offices are closed because of budget cuts. Consequently, unless a petition for rehearing is filed in this case, the court will likely issue procedendo on Monday, April 27.

Iowa Supreme Court
1111 East Court Avenue
Des Moines, IA 50319
515-281-3952

UPDATE UPDATE
From the Gazette this morning:

Your View poll results for April 8

We asked today: Do you think the Iowa Legislature should debate a constitutional amendment on same-sex marriage this session?

Here's what you said:

YES: 39.2 percent
NO: 60.8 percent

No. of votes: 896

Caveats: It's not exactly a high volume poll. They should've publicized a little better, I hadn't heard of it. With such a small sample size, I don't think it can be considered scientifically accurate even setting aside the bias involved with having participants contact the pollster instead of vice versa. However, I do think it's worth noting.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
From the Gazette this morning:

Your View poll results for April 11


We asked today: Do you think Iowa legislators should allow voters to decide whether to amend the state Constitution regarding the right to same-sex marriage?

Here's what you said:

YES: 58.2 percent
NO: 41.8 percent

No. of votes: 471

Slightly different question, much smaller sample size, different slant. It'll be interesting to watch this all develop.

For anyone shocked by the idea Iowa could possibly be progressive:

In the first reported case of the Supreme Court of the Territory of Iowa, In re Ralph, 1 Morris 1 (Iowa 1839), we refused to treat a human being as property to enforce a contract for slavery and held our laws must extend equal protection to persons of all races and conditions. 1 Morris at 9. This decision was seventeen years before the United States Supreme Court infamously decided Dred Scott v. Sandford, 60 U.S. (19 How.) 393, 15 L. Ed. 691 (1856), which upheld the rights of a slave owner to treat a person as property. Similarly, in Clark v. Board of Directors, 24 Iowa 266 (1868), and Coger v. North West. Union Packet Co., 37 Iowa 145 (1873), we struck blows to the concept of segregation long before the United States Supreme Court’s decision in Brown v. Board of Education, 347 U.S. 483, 74 S. Ct. 686, 98 L. Ed. 873 (1954). Iowa was also the first state in the nation to admit a woman to the practice of law, doing so in 1869. Admission of Women to the Bar, 1 Chicago Law Times 76, 76 (1887). Her admission occurred three years before the United States Supreme Court affirmed the State of Illinois’ decision to deny women admission to the practice of law, see Bradwell v. Illinois, 83 U.S. (16 Wall.) 130, 139, 21 L. Ed. 442, 445 (1873), and twentyfive years before the United States Supreme Court affirmed the refusal of the Commonwealth of Virginia to admit women into the practice of law, see Ex parte Lockwood, 154 U.S. 116, 118, 14 S. Ct. 1082, 1083, 38 L. Ed. 929, 930 (1894).

From p. 17 of today's opinion in Varnum v. O'Brien (.pdf file).

Gay Marriage A Non-Issue?

The story barely ranks the top ten in CNN, and is ranked lower than "Villagers chase away Google car." There's a thesis in that somewhere.

Varnum v. Brien

The Supreme Court website is finally operational, albeit slow.
Also, Scribd has a copy:
Iowa Supreme Court Ruling legalizing gay marriage in Iowa

So now the only question is whether procedendo (I translate it in my brain as "an order to proceed as indicated") issues - the last sentence of the opinion states "Our decision becomes effective upon issuance of procedendo." The footnote in the opinion refers to Iowa Rule of Appellate Procedure 6.1208 (stating procedendo shall issue twenty-one days after the opinion is filed unless a petition for rehearing is filed). For any geeks who want to know how to track this: you can search case status at the Iowa Courts Online Search. Click on appellate search and type in "Varnum" or "O'Brien" in the party name, or Docket number 07-1499. Once you get into the case, if you click on "Docket" you'll see a list of what's been filed in the case. A filing of a petition for rehearing is likely, you'll see it there once it's been filed, and any subsequent filings (granting of the petition for rehearing, or denial and procedendo issuing are two possibilities).

Jeez

So the Supreme Court is supposed to publish the gay marriage opinion this morning by 8:30. It's twenty minutes later and the site is still not loading? Come on, people. Download the .pdf and move on so others can read.

The Gazette says gay marriage is now legal in Iowa, but I can't get at the opinion to find out what it says.

If I only had the time

Top 100 April Fool's Hoaxes of all time.

Theater Blogging

Going to see The Foreigner tonight. From the ICCT website:


directed by Gerry Roe
March 13-15, 20-22 (Friday and Saturday evenings at 7:30pm, Sunday matinees at 2pm)
Sponsored by Rene Lenoch

with Tim DeMuth, Lane Hanon, Scot Hughes, Erin Mills, Glenn Singer, Evie Stanske and Ken Van Egdon

An inspired comic romp, The Foreigner enjoyed a sold-out premiere in Milwaukee before moving on to a long run Off-Broadway where it received two Obie Awards and two Outer Critics Circle Awards as Best New American Play and Best Off-Broadway Production. The Foreigner is set in a fishing lodge in rural Georgia often visited by "Froggy" LeSeuer, a British demolitions expert who occasionally runs training sessions at a nearby army base. Accompanying “Froggy” on this visit is his friend, a pathologically shy young proofreader named Charlie who is overcome with fear at the thought of making conversation with strangers. To allow Charlie the peace and quiet he seems to need, “Froggy” announces that Charlie, a native of an unnamed foreign country, speaks no English. Believing that Charlie doesn't understand a word they say, everyone at the lodge reveals far more of themselves than they intend. Ultimately, Charlie’s disguise as a foreigner allows him to expose the “bad guys” and, as Shue said of the play, “make everything turn out all right for the good guys.”

Crap that's in my Brain

A snippet from a movie commercial during Battlestar: "One bright day in the middle of the night." Suddenly I'm chanting this in my brain:

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don't believe it's true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Going on the 'net, I see it's a slightly different version from what most people learned. Though the oddest thing I found was a mashup with the old "Ladles and Jellyspoons":

ladies of the mens club,
i come before you to stand behind you
to tell you a tale you know nothing about
admission is free so pay at the door,
pull up a seat to sit on the floor
one fine day in the middle of the night
2 dead boys got up to fight
back to back they faced each other
drew their swords and shot each other
a deaf policeman heard the noise
and came and killed those 2 dead boys
if you dont believe my tale is true
ask the blindman he saw it too

I learned that one as:

Ladles and jellyspoons
I stand before you to sit behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about
There will be a mothers meeting
For fathers only
On Ash Wednesday which is Good Friday
No admission
Pay at the door
Pull up a chair
And sit on the floor.

I'd swear I learned it from Zoom.

Anyway, after that five minute tangent, I gotta start to wonder what the h*ll else is floating around in there, and why I can remember all that stuff but can't remember stuff I really need to. Though I swear if I ever had the money to go to school for no reason, I'd go do a masters on the evolution of modern children's rhymes. Which 'Ghost in the Graveyard' counting chant did you learn?

Apparently we're bigamists

Too funny: a Dear Prudence letter about a wife doing (horrors) FOUR SHOWS A YEAR with her local theater. To be fair, she's also considering summer stock which would be a tad much for most people. But what I find freaking hilarious are the comments:

A hobby? No, she is married to the community theatre. She is a bigamist, only the real husband is clearly the less important of her two husbands.

i dont think theatre is interchangeable with other hobbies. theatre brings you into constant contact with attractive, outgoing people who are on the make. thats not true of stamp collecting or curling up with a good book. she's getting out of the house for a purpose, and its only tangentially related to boredom.

I'm sure there are well-run (read, large) theatre companies but in my experience, the smaller the company, the more ego and libido driven and incestuous they are. Please! Why do you think so many leading men and women fall for each other (and so easily fall out when the curtain comes down)?

So community theater is a exactly like bad Hollywood tabloid, and D and I are both bigamists. Who knew?

I want one

'Star Wars' scientists create laser gun to kill mosquitoes

Things I've found on the 'net lately

A homemade cake, decorated by Yoda.

What the inscription on the Lent fish keychain thingy (IXOYE) technically means. I can never keep this one and INRI straight for some reason. I need to study more Greek.

But instead, I'm studying Irish for free! It's a special offer for St. Pat's day.

Just about every culture has a version of motherf*cker as a swear word. In case you were wondering.

You've gotta love practical yoga tips: Are your feet sore from those four-inch Louboutins? Alleviate the pain of wearing high heels by ascending and descending to chair pose, balancing on the balls of the feet with the arches and heels lifting. . .

Have you lost your minds?

I know I've been busy, but come on. I turn my back for a second, and you people are bringing back the Members Only jacket?

For all of you who grew up in Iowa City

I'll just let this speak for itself:

An Iowa City police sergeant has been charged with drunken driving and interference with official acts.

Police say that Sgt. Sid Jackson was arrested early Saturday by University of Iowa police after an officer saw him sitting in his car with the door open.

Sesame Street Day

Apparently it's time for a bunch of Sesame trivia, 'cause there are a pair of articles on CNN entitled 'How do you get to 'Sesame Street' and 'Surprising stories behind 20 Muppet characters.'

When I was three, I was convinced Sesame Street was right down the road, only the 'other way' as I called it then. See, our house sat about two blocks off a main road. So naturally, all the 'grown ups' took a left out of the driveway, a right to the main road (North Avenue, for those of you from Chicagoland) and then proceeded on to wherever we were going. All I knew was, every time we turned out of the driveway, we went left. So I was convinved that if we went right instead, that must be where Sesame Street was. Seemed logical to me. I recall my father deciding to take me on a walk that way, to show me there was no Sesame Street there. I guess my mother was afraid I'd decide I'd rather go live with cookie monster and make the hike on my own. Dad kept saying stuff like, "See? No Sesame here." Problem was, the suburbs are endless. We walked a few blocks, but there are always more blocks to walk, the possibility that it was just around the next corner. I returned home convinced we had just not gone far enough. Though I remember getting the feeling I shouldn't mention that to Mom. It was just one of those things grownups didn't understand.

Made me giggle

Fox stops in mid-fight. Comedy ensues. "Hey! What is this, then? Bouncy!!! Bouncy!!!!" Is it just me, or is the other fox kind of hanging back, saying: "Oh, grow up!"

Tidbits

I'm sure you've all heard the audio of the crash of US Airways Flight 1549 by now, but I still have to link it. I'm absolultely amazed at how steady and calm that pilot was in the middle of a huge crisis.



Kinda makes the whole Christian Bale thing look even worse, no? Pilot facing mortal peril with hundreds of lives at stake = James Bond cool. Actor distracted from the scene = raving f*cking lunatic. Nice perspective.

Oh, and this. Just 'cause:

Risky Business

A Consumer Reports telephone survey of 1,000 adults apparently shows that we're all living on the edge:

It found nearly 3 of every 4 Americans put cotton swabs inside their ears, risking a perforated eardrum. Nearly 4 in 10 admit eating raw cookie dough, which can carry salmonella.

Only half the respondents have a carbon monoxide detector at home and 61 percent don't have a rubber mat in the shower. Thirteen percent admitted sometimes drinking beer while using power tools.

Q-tips being used in the ear!!! I'll bet we've run with scissors, too. Raw cookie dough!!! OMIGOD! Never mind that most of us have eaten that our entire lives without ill effects. No rubber mat in the shower!!!! (Side note: does anyone still need those? I mean, about every shower I've been in since the eighties has a non-slip floor). Drinking beer using power tools!!! Wait . . . Dammit, I just spilled my Blue Moon all over the electric stapler.

Stimulating Thoughts

Here's how I see it:

The companies at the top have lost in their speculations, which has left them strapped for cash. Only no one wants to loan to them anymore due to the speculations. So they want cash to avoid going belly-up, throwing thousands of workers out of work.

Meanwhile, the lack of cash flow has led smaller companies to have to cut down. Thousands Over a million workers have already been thrown out of work.

Further, people who had money in investments have watched those all go bye-bye, and so their disposable income no longer looks so disposable. They've stopped doing much of the big-ticket spending, and are starting to trickle to a halt on the medium-ticket nonessentials. People are buying less stuff, which leads companies to need to make less stuff, which means they're downsizing and . . . . over a million workers are out of work.

Okay, so we need to stop a huge circular clusterf*ck, right? Well, there's three things I see that are being talked about as solutions: 1) Band-aid some of the companies that are bleeding by throwing money at them, to let them go on functioning. 2) Throw money into stuff. Buying goods and services gives those companies profits they wouldn't have otherwise and keeps their people at work. Stuff that will be useful, not just anything, but still, let's buy us some stuff. 3) Take some of the money and use it for social programs to help the people who are already out of work, or are soon to become unemployed, so that they don't die or fall so far down the socioeconomic staircase that they and their kids will become permanent drains on the system instead of a recovered middle class once this is all over with. That means providing some fail-safes for food, shelter, and physical and mental health. 4) Take things that are simply waste and eliminate them. 5) Give tax breaks to people who've managed to keep their jobs, hoping that the extra will be considered disposable income and be spent and not hoarded, this way the government doesn't do so much of the spending to start the economy, the people do.

Some further observations:

Obviously the whole "give the money to the companies" thing was a good idea in theory, but in practice they're using it to fund luxury vacations and jets (indirectly, granted, but I presume that if the company had tanked by not getting bailout funds, it couldn't pick up the tab for these things). As a pragmatic matter, I suppose this is still "stimulus" in that the people who work in the vacation and jet industries get to hold onto their jobs a bit longer. However, I'm not certain that we're prepared to pay for Nero to fiddle while Rome burns just to keep the fiddlemakers in the black. Oversight appears necessary.

The "tax breaks will lead to growth" thing only works if the people spend the rebates. If they're using it to pay bills (which is what mine was used on last year) or stuffed in a mattress, it isn't going to work. This holds true even if we include businesses in the tax breaks. If all the Jane Consumers aren't buying clothes this year because they need to stash the cash to recompense a tanked savings fund, then clothesmakers aren't going to use a tax incentive to expand their business. No market = contraction, not expansion. Also, a tax break to a corporation also has no oversight. They might reinvest it in workers and expanding the factories, or they might use their refund to pay for vacations to Tahiti. Normally, I wouldn't give a damn what they do with it. But since we're considering giving them this money, I think we might want to know what the plan is, and have a bit to say in how it's spent (see previous paragraph). For all those business leaders who will b*tch about this - you shouldn't have changed my mind by buying jets, luxury vacations, and crap. In screwing us, you screwed yourselves.

It's easy for me to say "eliminate waste" and not so easy for the sides to decide what is waste. So maybe we should come up with a system for rating these things, not just believe politician's buzzwords. How's this: 1) Does it put or keep someone in a job? 2) Is the proposed end product useful? 3) Does it prevent the unemployed from bottoming out in crucial areas (medical, housing, etc), or help them to improve their job prospects? 4) Is the industry targeted in actual trouble? 5) Is there some oversight to ensure the above will happen, or is it just a blank check (i.e. throwing money at a company or giving a huge tax break tantamount to throwing money at a company)?

These are, IMHO, the crucial questions to be answered in order to target the stimulus properly. There may be more factors, if I think of any I'll list them in an update.

Where am I going with this? When I saw in this article where the Republican leaders have weighed in on their idea of waste, I take issue with some of the list. Keeping the factors in mind:

• $2 billion earmark to re-start FutureGen, a near-zero emissions coal power plant in Illinois that the Department of Energy defunded last year because it said the project was inefficient.

It will create construction work, and technological work. Perhaps some shipping of the parts. Can we make sure we are dealing with US suppliers? Just a suggestion. As for the inefficiency, I'm not sure one way or the other. In doing a bit of checking, this has to do with coal and new technology to refine it and reduce emissions, etc. I'm seeing one side say that the technology is just too expensive to be efficient at this time, and another side saying it was only too expensive when Illinois won the bid for the project over Texas and Texas-linked politicians decided to take their ball money and go home. It may be a boondoggle, or it may be a good example of investing in the future. So which is it? I think we have to ask the scientists. In absence of a clear answer, I'd say no to this one, but I'm open to correction.

• A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers to buy motion picture film.

Are movie producers in trouble? I'm thinking not, or not yet. While producing film does fund jobs making film, I don't believe there will be less film bought if we don't fund it. So, as it fails Factor #4, I wouldn't be in favor of this.

• $650 million for the digital television converter box coupon program.

Are they locally built? If so, it keeps jobs going. The things are handy for the digital switch (Though I'm tempted to deduct points because I'm not so sure I agreed with the digital switch in the first place, however, given it's a done deal, the things will count as useful). I'm not sure how you would categorize "people that make TV converter boxes" as a job, but the people who sell them - Radio Shack, Circuit City, etc. are showing a downtrend, so the industry probably qualifies as troubled. So, all in all, it's valid. There is one negative, however, that doesn't fit neatly into the boxes above: We loves us some TV. I know people who would starve before they shut off their cable. So I'm not so sure we need this much funding. Let's make sure only the needy get the coupons. Can we go halves?

• $88 million for the Coast Guard to design a new polar icebreaker (arctic ship).

Creates jobs? Check. Creates something useful? Actually, a huge old Check. We need the things. Is the industry in trouble? Again, not sure which industry, but it sounds like generic factory work plus tech people, plus people to truck the parts, etc. This sounds like a good investment.

• $448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters. • $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters.

Create jobs? Oh, yes. Construction jobs, furniture makers, shipping, architects, and so forth. Is it an industry in trouble? I think construction qualifies, not sure about furniture makers but my instinct tells me probably yes - I'm fairly sure new furniture falls under "luxuries to cut" for most people. Is the product useful? Well, they need a headquarters, and this particular site, while controversial, has already been approved. So I guess it's only wasteful to go ahead and build the damn thing? Oookaaay. Kinda surprised the Reps were the ones bitching about this.

• $600 million to buy hybrid vehicles for federal employees.

Create jobs? Yep, auto industry sucks right now. Useful product? Absolutely, given gas prices and pollution reduction. So what's to whine about? Not understanding the problem here, either, except perhaps a knee-jerk "blech" reaction to anything with the word "green" in it.

• $400 million for the Centers for Disease Control to screen and prevent STD's.

Job creation? Medical workers, receptionists, basic desk jobs. Industry in trouble is n/a because it's not handing money to an industry, it's a government entity so by nature all its funding is government. It does provide medical assistance to those people who are not working, though I see where the Reps are upset - it has to do with sex. Okay, fine. I get that nobody is supposed to be having sex, hence the removal of the birth control portion of the bill (though why in the h*ll they think it will be cheaper to pay for welfare babies than the pill is beyond me). But what about making it part of a more comprehensive health provision? I'd expand, not contract, this puppy.

* * * *

I won't go into each and every provision, the rest are listed below, but you see where I'm going with this and apply the theory. We need to bring some brains to bear on this topic, and stop the partisan bullsh*t.

• $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal programs.

• $125 million for the Washington sewer system.

• $150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities.

• $1 billion for the 2010 Census, which has a projected cost overrun of $3 billion.

• $75 million for "smoking cessation activities."

• $200 million for public computer centers at community colleges.

• $75 million for salaries of employees at the FBI.

• $25 million for tribal alcohol and substance abuse reduction.

• $500 million for flood reduction projects on the Mississippi River.

• $10 million to inspect canals in urban areas.

• $6 billion to turn federal buildings into "green" buildings.

• $500 million for state and local fire stations.

• $650 million for wild land fire management on forest service lands.

• $1.2 billion for "youth activities," including youth summer job programs.

• $88 million for renovating the headquarters of the Public Health Service.

• $412 million for CDC buildings and property.

• $500 million for building and repairing National Institutes of Health facilities in Bethesda, Maryland.

• $160 million for "paid volunteers" at the Corporation for National and Community Service.

• $5.5 million for "energy efficiency initiatives" at the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration.

• $850 million for Amtrak.

• $100 million for reducing the hazard of lead-based paint.

• $75 million to construct a "security training" facility for State Department Security officers when they can be trained at existing facilities of other agencies.

• $110 million to the Farm Service Agency to upgrade computer systems.

• $200 million in funding for the lease of alternative energy vehicles for use on military installations.

Um, Say Again? *Updated with further thoughts after a modicum of caffiene*

Okay, it is Monday morning and I'm undercaffienated, but please explain to me this logic:

[U]nder new procedures coming this year, Iowa drivers will wait up to 10 days after renewal to receive a new license card in the mail.

The new renewal process, expected to start as soon as this summer, is aimed at improving security, Iowa transportation officials say.

"It's a mechanism we're using to help ensure our process does not lend itself to identity theft," said Shirley Andre, director of the Iowa Department of Motor Vehicles.

It takes awhile to get all my cylindars firing, but I'm pretty sure that the stated reason for this change - it prevents identity theft - makes little sense. Sure, you might be closing one loophole, wherein someone who illegally acquired a driver's license, or forged a bunch of other id, and happens to look just like the person could theoretically have come into the station and demanded a new one. Now it would be mailed to the old address instead. But what are we really changing?

1) How often do people who illegally acquire licenses actually fit the stats of the person whose license they acquire sufficiently to pass the security involved with going in and getting the license changed? In other words, this is not generally a crime of opportunity - I'd imagine there's planning involved. Planning connotes a capability of circumventing the little "oops, it's going to be mailed to me?" idea.

2) Doesn't subjecting the license to the mail, rather than handing it to the individual involved, create a greater risk that the license will be illegally 'acquired' in the first place by someone simply stealing it from the mailbox?

3) Does this really solve the problem? I mean, I presume there will still be a mechanism for changing our address on the license, unless the powers that be intend that we never, ever move again. As they've not mentioned any changes to this process, I further presume it will be similar to the one in place now - bring in a utility bill or something showing where you live now. Okay, if I'm someone whose going to go to the trouble to have an illegally acquired license/id and actually take it on as my own by changing the address to mine, is it really that hard for me to forge a utility bill? I'm thinking not so much. Give me a color scanner and ten minutes' time and I'm pretty sure I could have a passable phone or electric bill for you.

Given this, will someone please try to explain to me why we're doing this again? Particularly given that this will increase costs:

An average of 850,000 driver's licenses are issued by the Iowa DOT per year and with the increased cost per card, the state will be paying an estimated $120,000 more per year, she said.

Of course, they "think" it might lower costs in the end by having a central processing area. Pretty sure they won't then drop the fees for the license, though, if that does turn out to be the case.

I realize that the DOT has unilaterally decided this under the administrative rules, but I'm wondering if we can't bring some pressure to bear on this subject? I, for one, would rather drive to freaking Des Moines to physically acquire a new license than to have one mailed to me.

If anyone4 can think of a reason why this would be a good idea, please leave it in the comments. My still-tired brain thanks you.